Note: Be discerning as you read this. These are notes, not thoughts. Shelleyhundley.com
- Suffering that is in vain is one of the worst experiences we can have. If suffering has no point, then it’s just another level of torment. But if there’s a storyline, then it is bearable.
- Missionaries working in the front lines with sex trafficking, war, etc, burn out quickly, because they get overtaken by hopelessness and numbness. They forget the story.
- Hundley’s story: grew up in Colombia in a missionary school, at a time with drug cartel trafficking problem, and a marxist guerilla revolution army. When she was young, these two groups joined forces. Still massively persecuting Christians today. Grew up surrounded by poverty, with five or six year old friends who were professional thieves. Would sneak food out of the house to the little kids in the neighborhood. At that time, Marxist guerillas would go into churches, and gun down people who refused to renounce Jesus. Grew up in a bad environment, but there was something that brought her even greater fear.
- Sexual abuse from a minister on the mission field starting age 3-4. Biggest terror was shame, fear, and terror from next episode of sexual abuse.
- Affected her relationship with Jesus. Eventually became a raging atheist on a Christian college. William Booth’s recipe for revival: find hardest heart, get them to God: revival. A group of students followed this advice, and began to target her as hardest heart. Was very hard to evangelize to. Made people cry when they tried to talk to her. Became depressed, hospitalized for attempted suicide twice. Put under suicide watch, placed in padded rooms. Even shoelaces taken away.
- In that padded room, got really angry. Started screaming at everyone who had wronged her, including God. Finally, realized how bad she was, and realized even God couldn’t help her.
- Prayer: “If you do 2 things, I won’t kill myself. 1: Show me that you’re real. 2: Show me you can do something about this pain”
- Exodus 2:23-24: Israelites enslaved. Their cry came up to God. Every cry goes somewhere. Even though it seems like nothing happened, God did hear. God hears every cry. Do you guys know who Jesus is, as the righteous judge? Do you know the One that will make the wrong things right? God didn’t just hear the cries of the Israelites, he sent Moses.
- There’s a lie that people believe that says that God doesn’t hear or see.
- How could someone who believed in Jesus and preached the gospel do this to Shelley? This is the state of pulpits around the world — people are broken. It’s important for people to live out the Word they preach.
- Issue of dignity, forgiveness, and restoration. How can Shelley live this out? She wants to forgive, but can’t. One time while she was praying, Mike Bickle said, if you want to get a new revelation from God in the bible, meditate on that verse, word from the bible. Mind —- > Mouth — > Heart. Mouth is praying that truth back to God, speaking it to others. Many read the bible, but don’t pray the bible back to God. If you put it in your mind, and put it your mouth, God will put it in your heart.
- Most powerful revelation of her life from this: Holy Spirit whispered to her, you need a judge. Initially she thought it was Satan bringing judgment on her. Then Holy Spirit clarified, you need to know Jesus as judge. Holy Spirit’s main job is to glorify Jesus, and make him known. Went to Isaiah 63:4. Isaiah 63 talks about Isaiah seeing Jesus, coming up victorious from Edom. Jesus’ garment stained with blood, striding with powerful mighty strides. Isaiah knew Jesus as the lamb (Isaiah 53). Now Jesus is coming back as the righteous judge, the lion (Isaiah 63).
- In Revelation, the scroll Jesus has is Jesus’ plan for making everything right. Every single human being will stand before Jesus and give an account for all the wrongs they committed. We need that scroll. Revelation 5:5-6. The elder says behold the lion, but John sees a lamb!
- God is a God of love, but He is not a weak God! He is the righteous judge. Isaiah 63:4, Proverbs 6:34…uses the same word, “day of vengeance”
- If you accepted Jesus as God of your heart, He is not judging you, He is judging for you. When He heals us, He is judging sickness on our behalf. When you are dealing with the sin, bring it to the judge, who will judge the sin for you. We’re so terrified that God is waiting to drop the hammer on us, we’ve forgotten Jesus as the judge. Jesus says, you can forget what happened, because I never will. Either Jesus will pay, or that person will pay. When Shelley learned that, she was able to forgive her abuser.
- Paul told the church, fix your eyes on the one who is coming with vengeance. Isaiah 42 says he will not grow weary in bringing judgment. Until she knew Jesus loved justice like that, she could not leave her case of unforgiveness with him.
- Last stronghold: Area of self-worth. Jeremiah 23 — when you water down the word of the Lord, and strengthen the words of the wicked, it makes the people worthless. How many people feel worthless in their own heart? Jeremiah 23:16-17
- Jesus is a jealous God. “You touched my bride?!” “You are worth fighting for” He is a righteous judge.
- If Jesus is returning soon, this generation needs to know their judge, because unprecedented suffering is about to come. You need to know the judge in that hour. You can’t just read it in the book, but it needs to be in your heart.
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